My Confession#1

May 21, 20135 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: May 21, 2013

4.6K Views

Hello everyone! Today I have a confession to make. Today is the only day I got a chance and power to confess you something and the lies behind everything and the truth that is hidden for a long long time. Some of you may get disappointed about this and some of you may become furious or get mad or even become my enemy or hater but please understand that I can't hold out these lies any further and I want to come clean to everyone. I wanted for so long to do this but I'm scared people will start hating me for who I am after this. I know many already have seen this so they did abuse me but time to relieve you guys my sins and all lies and leave nothing but the truth. People who have seen this unwatched me, that's the reason my I have a huge decrease on my watchers lately. I'm still puzzled making this journal whether I should say it or not but I may not last any longer. Who knows about 9 lives theory... ehrmm.... The truth is... I'm... I'm the Muffin Man. *Shocks* I know it's a shocking truth so please settle down, but it is what you read. I am the Muffin Man the guy who made the Muffins. The police is after me, looking for me so please don't give me up just yet, please read the truth before turning me over, you decide the truth for your ownselves. My intentions are harmless and I never was trying to commit crime with muffins, I was only helping. You see cops like donuts and donuts are high with calories and police becomes obese and not able to run so to help them, I started baking oatmeal muffins and replace donuts in the menu. This gotten the police frustrated so they're after me.

Actually, that's not the story about my confession. The truth is, I committed a sinful act being a muffin man. I not only bake it but I also eat it. *Shocks* Did you see, I EAT IT! I ingested this devils into my mouth through my esophagus going to my stomach going to my small intestine onto my large intestine until it reaches that time to poop it out. I know it's really tragic in fact, I was shock myself, yes no lies here. It's like crime over another crime as I make what I ingest but all of that was just tip of the iceberg. The worst part is, I sell them. I sell them to everyone including kids... Yes! Kids love muffins and become addicted to it that they started turning it into business and become Muffia. I know that this is completely why police will kill me. Their donuts are now become muffins and business turns wide because kids made them into business trades and all because of my lust with money. Yes, the truth about why I become the muffin man is because of the money but then again, it's still tip of the iceberg for the real shocking truth about me. The whole reason for all of this sinful act is because of this shocking truth.

I must warn you, everything you will read here is shocking and undesirable. Everything you will read here is not suitable for young audience, parental guidance is advice. This may even cause you to vomit so read with caution. Please don't hate me after this following message. I wanted lots of money because of this urges, I wanted "Catnip" because the truth is... I'm a "Cat" *Vomits blood* --- *F*cking Shockhole Spazzout* That's right, now you know my true form, it's up to you to judge me by my race. I plan to conquer all Catnips in the world and chew them in my mouth as I purr. I got so lazy chasing mouse so I decided a new life and I choosen the darkside of living, I chosen to be a bad kitty. Catnip is the whole reason of all of this sinful act. It's because when I'm under Catnips paws, I felt so happy. So happy that I can straigthen the tower of Pisa into straight tower instead of leaning.

My owner loves Cats, in fact he's a Cat addict that's why he switch his religion from born again to Catholic because he's Cat Holic. When you drink alcohol and becomes an addict they call you Alcoholic but when you're addicted to Cats, they call you Catholic. See, I made a sinful act. My Catnip urges made my owner changes his religion. I'm a very bad pet. This is the truth about me. Please don't be mad about me. I have no power of cuteness like Puss n boots, I only Meow or Nyan in japanese if I can since I'm a stupid f*cking cat and I don't know sh*t. You don't believe, here's how we cat's are (The truth about cats videos) >>> www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpl5mO… That's all the proof.

Thank you for wasting your time. Cat's like me don't give a real f2ck about your time. See yah s4ck4rs!

"As you can see, this is a better confession than Deviantart Confession on Tumblr huh? When you confess, you tell truth about yourself not others. If you confess others, it's not called confession. It's called insult. When I confess about my ugliest friend even if I act friendly in front of him or her, it's called two faced double crossing insult not confession. Tell that to the owner of that Tumblr."